The most terrified I have been in my life!

Something is under my bed...(Thud!) It is really scared the crap out of me!  I didn't want to look under my bed because it might poke my eyes out. (Thud!) Not again! Wait! I got a mirror on my night stand. So I snatched my mirror  as fast as I could because I was so afraid that thing might get me.  Then I moved my left arm to lower it to see under my bed so I could see what the heck it was! Then I looked real good...Lisa!!!!!!! What are you doing down there!?!?!?!

(Lisa is my wife.)

By the way, this is not a true story.